RAD

No, I'm not trying to go back to my childhood and be cool - that is what Evan was diagnosed with Monday. On Sun. during naptime Evan started having this croupy cough and I thought, uhoh, here we go, he has croup again. Sunday night he started running a fever and the cough got worse so, I called in Mon. and took him to the Dr. She said he sounded very squeaky and gave him a breathing treatment (pulmicort and albuterol) which afterwards he sounded better. We were told to do 3 treatments a day and come back Fri. to see how things are going. Evan doesn't much like the treatments but, thought he sounded a bit like Darth Vader and kept telling me, "Luke, I am your fader." This kid is growing up and fast, he LOVES Star Wars, his Daddy is so proud, his Mama well, most of the time I have no idea what he is talking about. They said that Reactive Airway Disease is seen w/ heart kids (Becky, doesn't Miles have this?). He has a virus where the only symptom is a high fever that comes down with Tylenol but returns to 102.5 as soon as it wears off. I don't believe he has ever had a fever this high. He does good during the day but, has a hard time sleeping - seemed to be talking out of his head last night. I feel so bad when he is coughing his head off, I have enjoyed lots and lots of snuggles the past 3 days though. Say a prayer for my little guy.
ADD: during our snuggle time we have watched a lot more TV than usual and with this Evan has picked up on 2 things.
1) Evan said he had a new favorite song which he began to sing, "Nationwide is on your side."
2) He started telling me that all citizens need Life Alert. I always start laughing and he is so serious, he said, "Mommy, I'm not kidding if you fall and you are on fire you need life alert, it said all sitzens (he has no idea) need life alert."

Update

It is through tears as I type that Maddie passed away yesterday. Her parents last sentence on her site states "There is joy somewhere in all of this, but I cannot see it yet. I am praying for that clarity." I will pray that Maddie's family finds the peace and clarity they are searching for. There is nothing more I can say - I cannot find the words.
Hug your children today.

Prayer

We had a busy weekend - spent it cleaning and looking at prospect new homes. If we get a contract I think we narrowed our choices down to 3.
In response to my own post - I don't always understand why things happen or why I have such a nervous & controlling personality but, I do know that I believe in GOD. I might have a hard time turning things over but, I know that things go much better when I do. I know that if a contract is not put on our house this weekend it is because the house we need to buy is not ready or there are reasons for us to stay in our house for a while. I'm stubborn but, I believe!
Because I believe, I'm asking for all of you to pray! Pray for our dear heart friend Maddie. Pray, pray and pray.

Mixed Feelings Today

I'm feeling a bit frazzled today. My feelings have ranged from sad to happy to nervous and anxious. I read all the blogs on my blog list daily - it seems to have become a routine when I arrive at work. I login to my computer, go to Evan's blog and then go down the list to check and see how everyone is - Krystal I've also gotten use to checking a few on your adoption list too (some of those families really amaze me.) Yesterday morning and again today I check on Maddie and my heart is saddened. I don't understand. I don't know how they do it. I also check on Sammy (hope this is okay) and read his Mommy's last post about God and prayer and I wonder too. I'm a Christian - I believe in God - but why? I know God has a plan and although I would never have chosen my child to be born with a CHD I've been changed by it, and some of those changes are good. I've met people through blog land and my real life that I would have never known and I value those friendships so much. But, wouldn't life have been good if Evan would have been born without a CHD - wouldn't I still been changed for the better for just being a Mommy and met new people that I cherished? I guess I'm just feeling confused b/c of Maddie and her parent's awesome faith. They amaze me. I want that faith and I often blame my control/OCD disorder for the reason I have such a hard time with it but, I do believe, I just have the hard time understanding these types of things and being okay with it.

ALSO our house has been on the market since Sept. and we have had many showings but no contracts. We are having more showings this weekend and I was informed that one family is moving to our town b/c of work and is only looking at 2 houses and is planning on signing a contract on one of them. AHHHH!!!! That means there is a 50% chance my house will sell this weekend and we have not found a new one yet. I know, I want to move. Do others have a hard time thinking of moving on from the home that their child was brought home to from birth and then from his surgery, etc. I'm crazy. I really want to move but, these thoughts have sent me to tears all day. I pray that I can have enough faith that what is meant to happen for my family will happen and that we will be led to the right place to call home.

See below pic of Evan and a very well behaved female Doberman Pincher AKA Gal, that showed up at Mamaw and Papaw's Mon. - so far no owner response to flyers - no tags so, Papaw is taking her to the vet to check for a chip to identify her. If not, I think Mamaw & Papaw might have a doggy - look how in Love Evan is with her.