Thursday, January 15, 2009

Just a Bad Day

We had a bad day yesterday. I have had a few crazy weeks at work and this week has been the craziest. Eric is working crazy too... we are seeing lowest temp's of the year and everyone's heat is going out it seems. Evan had a bad day at school yesterday. My Mom always calls me as soon as they get to the car when she picks him up. He usually takes the phone and tells me all about his day... and everyone elses in his class, LOL. When he doesn't want to talk is when something didn't go quite right. He shares when I get home but I guess he doesn't want to tell me things like that over the phone. Lately Evan has been sharing with me about a certain one in his class... (You remember posts this past summer about Evan being sensitive and how some kids seem to get a kick out of making Evan cry and Evan's response is aggression as he doesn't seem to know how to play the mind game back.) He is always telling me that he asks him if they can be friends or is he Evan's friend and his reponse is always no and lately Evan says he spells N-O. This drives Evan crazy and he says sometimes he cries. We have been doing role playing and me be Evan and him be the other kid. Trying to tell Evan NOT to ask if they are friends to NOT worry about whether they are or not. Apparantly my talks haven't helped. Yesterday my Mom called and said that Evan had a bad day and had gotten Yellow at school. They use the Green, Yellow and Red light type of system. Evan has always gotten green. I asked to talk to him and he said no and sounded like he was going to cry. When I got home he instantly ran to me and hugged me and told me that he had gotten yellow. He said they were coloring and that he asked if they were friends (sigh) and the response was no so Evan hit him. His teacher wrote a note saying that, that had happened and that Evan was sorry and apologized. Evan kept saying, "I'm sorry Mommy... why doesn't he want to be my friend???" We had another talk last night about not worrying about who is NOT your friend but playing and having fun with those who are. He wanted to invite his class to his big 5th birthday now I'm questioning whether we should or not... would hate for his big day to be ruined. What to do???? Evan cannot act in aggression when his feelings are hurt and he so does not understand why... he just kept saying, "he hurt me."

2 comments:

The Portas said...

What a very sensitive and sweet little person Evan is. I love the idea of doing role playing with him. Hopefully eventually he will see that this other kid is not worth his time and energy. Poor little guy...I want to give him a big squeeze! I have a feeling Elijah will be a lot like Evan in this regard. They seem to be kindred spirits with their creative little imaginations and sensitive hearts.

Hugs to all of you...I hope your weekend is much more happy! xoxoo

Kathy said...

So..I asked my sweet Eli what he would do if someone didn't want to be his friend...and he said, "I'd just say that's ok".

But...Eli said that he'd love to be Evan's Phone friend...so, I'll email you my phone number (or you email me yours) and what time zone you're in (that always messes me up!)
and Evan can have a new friend named Eli that will talk his head off!!!

I'd hit a kid too if he didn't want to be my friend!
Maybe you should invite the whole class to his party...either the stinky kid will show up and you can "help" them talk...or the stinky kid will not show up and there are no worries.

Evan's such a sweetie...
thank goodness you didn't get stuck with the "stinky kid"!

kathy